Recovery in Ten Stages means us gaining the courage to peel back layers of pain and sadness

Recovery in Ten Stages means us gaining the courage to peel back layers of pain and sadness. The courage to be raw and still in the face of whatever arises. The willingness to begin and move through the pain and sadness. The willingness to take the time and have the patience with ourselves.

Although it might feel unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or frightening, the reward is more than worth the journey. Because loving kindness is the seed of happiness in our recovery.

The practice of loving kindness is a simple, gentle and time-proven method to help us discover the spring of love that exists within and, as a result, enjoy more happiness in life.

Ironically, we may not actually realise we’re lacking in self-love. So how could we even get serious about it? Here’s the problem. If we didn’t feel a pervasive feeling of love as a child, we just don’t know what we’re missing. We haven’t had an experience of it.

Sure, we are all searching for love in the form of that special someone, but often that is part of the problem rather than the solution. We don’t necessarily know what true abiding love really is or how to be an unconditional friend to our self. Instead, we often criticise and denigrate our self.

Although we may not be consciously aware that we are lacking in love, it typically shows up in the form low self-esteem and self-hatred. These two demons can manifest a range of behaviours and feelings:
Blaming
Criticism
Defensiveness
Looking to others for acceptance
Poor boundaries
Avoiding the present moment
Fear of being wrong
Feeling flawed
Body-image problems
Perfectionism
Compulsive behaviors
Drug addiction
Inner critic
Shutting down
Denying your own feelings
Continuing feelings of guilt, shame, fear, sadness, hurt, anger
Feeling unloved, unlovable, isolated, or alone.

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• This forum was created to provide a safe, sane place to use, discuss and study The 10 Stages.